How do you define destiny? Do you see it as a predetermined map of what you can expect in your life? What if it is actually created by your own thought system? Then, you would no longer be a victim of fate, but rather, your life becomes the narrative you shape yourself! If your story is under your own control, why would you want to turn it into pulp?
To change your future, transform your thinking! Especially those that speak of fear, failure and lack, keeping you imprisoned in the same recurring pattern.
Changing your thoughts is easier said than done, but not impossible.
The rewards you reap from committing to the development of a new way of thinking, about yourself, others and your world will extend to how you feel, your available energy, better health, confidence, self-regard, self-love, empathy for and relationships with others, to name but a few.
An Honest Talk with Yourself
Can you face an honest dialogue with yourself - one about yourself in terms of your true talents, your strengths, your habits, the ones you have and the ones you would rather develop, what you can control, what responsibilities you are ready to accept, etc.?
Can you have that dialogue without focusing on what is wrong with the world, your life, other people, their judgements of you, how unfairly life and people have treated you, your own unmet needs, your fear of failure (or success) and so forth?
Can you talk to yourself about love, self-love and self-acceptance? Are you ready to talk about what joy and happiness would mean to you?
Or are you caught up in a stream of thoughts about fear, disappointment, anger, sadness, blame or shame, to the extent that considering concepts such as love and happiness appear impossible?
I am not advocating that you ignore what you see as your shortcomings, your disappointments and your fears. Or that you ignore the anger and blame that you are directing at yourself or others.
However, if those are the only thoughts that occupy your mind, without thinking about how you can think differently, helping you to increase your level of courage to tackle those fears and obstacles, you will remain locked into an ever growing spiral of worry, anger or avoidance.
Changing thoughts requires effort: You have to be vigilant about watching out for the self-sabotaging ideas and the self-blame.
And the mental onslaughts that you launch through your thoughts at the world and others.
Changing your life story starts with the real thoughts, perhaps deeply hidden, about yourself.
Only once you are able to master your thoughts about yourself, will you be able to look at others differently and see them as deserving of love and happiness, in the same way you are.
What You Think is What you Put out into the World
You may think that what you truly think about yourself is private – do not be fooled. This is a false assumption.
Thoughts are energy and energy extends outwards.
If the thoughts you hold about yourself differ from the image that you are trying to project, others will experience inner discord. They may not understand why they feel that what they “see is not what they get”. Since they may not have taken proper charge of their own minds, they may simply dismiss it as their imagination.
You may also think that what you think of others is private – the same applies. Others may not know the exact content of your thoughts, but they will pick up on the energy that you radiate. They may not be able to put into words what they pick up and they may not even be able to understand the reason why certain impressions are popping into their minds, but discomfort will most probably ensue. Discomfort that can be turned back on you through avoidance or arguments.
You can change the dialogue that you have with yourself about yourself, others and situations consciously.
This is not easily achieved. In fact, it is probably the most difficult exercise to undertake since it requires you to focus your mind consciously on that which no longer serves you, what you want to change and how you want to change it, in order to change how you feel, what you do as well as the results of those actions.
It would require you to remain constantly attentive to your thoughts and question the validity of what you are thinking. Whether you want to change your thought patterns or are working towards a more tangible goal, the principle remains the same.
For instance, should you make a decision to that you are going to exercise until you are fit enough to run a marathon, you know that you would need to do so regularly. You would have to run daily, persist when tired, cope with physical discomfort, sacrifice time, invest energy and effort and perhaps even give up other things.
Failure to accomplish healthier ways of thinking is no different than failing to achieve other goals. Should you interrupt your exercise regime for a period of time, or lose interest, or lack the motivation to follow through you are bound to either give up before the marathon starts or fail to complete it, should you actually turn up.
What if that which prevented success was the belief that you can never complete anything successfully?
So, you can see how such a thought results in the life story you are writing, both in terms of the results of your actions as well as the mental distress it causes you.
Are you ready to commit pen to paper and start recording those thoughts that are not reflective of who you want to be, but that you have allowed to define you and your life?
And are you ready to consider what you will “lose” by letting go of those thoughts?
By doing so, it will give you the opportunity to search your mind for thoughts that represents the mental life that you want to create and substituting your limiting thoughts with those. You can even record them as your own personal affirmations to serve as easy reminders of the new mental narrative you are creating.